Playing at Love
by Wanderlustlover
Summary: Missing scenes from Season 1: "Titans". What really happened in the closed room that night...


Title: Playing at Love

Pairing: Gabrielle/Phyleus, hinted at Gabrielle/Xena

Rating: PG

Spoilers: During "Titans"

"I'm sorry. Really, I am," she murmured, balling the end of her shirtdress inside her fists, her eyes focused on her knees and the floor right beyond them. It was as though she couldn't conceive of what to say or do.

Fingers settled under her chin and raised her eyes to a face. It was a good face. Strong in passion and simple in beauty even in the shadows of this small room and it's sparse light. He had soft maple wood brown eyes and a mouth that smiled gentle and easy, slipping easily into her heart as he tried to make her smile.

"Don't apologize, Gabrielle," he said, running his fingers up her cheek.

"I feel," she said, worrying one side of her lip. "Stupid. We were -and I-"

"You tried to save our village without even knowing us. You and your friend have stayed even when there are those who have spoken against you and blamed you. And we," he said, widening his smile. "Are very young. Perhaps we're seeking comfort in things we both aren't prepared for yet."

Gabrielle blinked and a dawning recognition filled her eyes," You mean you aren't ready either?"

"I thought I might be," he said, shyly, as he sat down next to her, and took her hand, detangling it from the cloth of her shirt and skirt. "I am an acolyte of Cronus though. It's what I've always wanted to be. It was my idea to wake the Titans and get them to help our village. I made a mistake."

"But, Phyleus, your intentions were true and full of-"

"Let me finish," he replied, squeezing her hand. "All I've ever wanted was to live in this village, to worship Cronus and to make life better for those who lived here with me. And I failed them. And you came along and woke the Titans up without any preparation or even a reason."

Phyleus's eyes traced her face, bright and shining in her purity of soul. Goodness like a light shined like lamp lights out of her beautiful blue eyes like they might connect straight to all that was good and true in the entire universe.

"And you were more beautiful than any goddess I had ever imagined," he squeezed her hand once more when she flushed red and started to protest. "And you were full of giving and goodness. Your free giving nature and spirit of rightness for people you'd never met. You were so much the type of person I wanted to be and I needed so much an excuse to forget that it really is my fault the Titans were loose."

"But I would not want just a moment with you, Gabrielle. I would not share just one night," Phyleus said, raising her hand to place his lips against it to kiss it softly. "One night and my heart would be yours forever. But when this is over I will stay here and be an acolyte and one day hopefully a respected priest in Cronus's temple, but you will go on and I do only have one heart."

Tears brimming in the edges of her eyes, Gabrielle threw her arms around him and hugged him close, "One day you'll make some girl very happy, Phyleus."

"Hopefully, she'll be as beautiful and good as you," he said, standing and grabbing her shirt jacket and holding it out to her. His lips formed a little upward quirk, an innocent smile without any meaning. "We should get some sleep. It'll be dawn soon. You don't mind-I mean, now that we didn't" he faltered.

"Of course not," Gabrielle remarked with a bright smile.

"Good." Phyleus remarked, and laid back on the bed, scooting over so there would be room. He moved to accommodate her when she lay down. He gave her most of the pillow and laid his head on her arm over her, laying his other arm across hers. He whispered softly a while later. "Just so you know, I mean, even if we didn't, I don't regret anything."

She nodded sleepily and pulled his arms closed around her, as if to shield her from her inner demons, from what she almost did and from what had stopped her. . Hearing him tell her his reason for stopping had helped a little. Not having to tell him why she'd suddenly stopped had been even better. She wasn't sure she could make that into words yet.

She wasn't sure she hadn't just gone crazy.

It had been an amazing kiss. An amazing million kisses. His hands roaming her body under her shift shirt. Her eyes had closed as he delved into the sensitive places on her neck. Then she had opened her eyes when he whispered her name and expected to see a different pair of eyes staring back at her.

Standing and pulling the jacket close around her she moved for the door now and pulled the cloth back thinking about those brown eyes. Thinking about the fact she had fallen into that bed with a brown-eyed sweetheart, but hadn't expected those to be the eyes that looked back at her when she opened her.

Not brown, but blue. Pushing it away as some random thoughts in her confused brain from all the excitement he was causing her body. She had shivered beneath him, and almost called out a name. But not his name.

Not his name at all.

She woke up to Phyleus shaking her shoulder, and blinked her eyes confused till she found his face finally above hers and followed his nod toward the door where Xena was. Her expression seemed guarded and empty all at once. Not the expression she was used to, open and full of some hidden emotion or emotions she shared only with her best friend and sidekick.

Phyleus was off the bed and going toward Xena before she had time to stretch. She listened to their conversation as she stretched her back and followed after him toward the door and Xena.

"Is it time?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Xena answered in a cool fashion as though it couldn't be anything else. He passed her and Xena stayed there holding the blanket that blocked the door till Gabrielle walked out.

"What's the matter?" Gabrielle asked, snidely, her voice choking in her throat as the tall warrior woman approached the having closed the cloth door behind her. Her annoyance at being treated like a child earlier, and her confusion at seeing those bright blue eyes focused on her now, made her voice sharp.

Xena searched her face, and for a moment she thought she saw something frantic behind those blue eyes. Concern. "Nothing. I thought-"

"Thought I did something without thinking?" Gabrielle said, cutting her off, her voice growing tense.

"Well, if you did, it's none of my business."

"That's right" she said louder, the anger of earlier starting to crawl right back into her voice. "It isn't."

"Look," Xena remarked, pulling a little closer to Gabrielle, who moved a bit out of the way in her huffiness. "If this is about what I said before I was tired."

Gabrielle glared through twin jewel-like eyes in the near darkness of the temple, thinking about her idea to put the Titans back to sleep and how easily Xena had just thrust it aside. Especially, now that she was referencing it. It had been a good plan and Xena hadn't cared. "You think I'm just a kid."

"No, I don't." Xena said, her lips firming at the edges as she shook her head slightly. "I just don't have time to convince you right now. We've got work to do."

Gabrielle watched her walk off feeling frustrated enough to scream all over again. But she wasn't quiet sure what she was frustrated over now. She wasn't sure if it was about being treated like a kid, about Xena not seeming to care about what might have happened, or about the fact that seeing Xena's face in her mind and wanting to say Xena's name having stopped her from earlier.


End file.
